Pedro Rabies

Pedro Esquero Rabies dos los Rabies Santos is a Spanish professional footballer who currently plays for Scottish league club Heart of Clachmaninshire.

In Spain
As a young player for Terrine de Sangier, Rabies was sent off in his debut match for punching the referee in the face, a moment he would later regard as his memorable match. He also player for Real Anaconda before transferring to Heart of Clachmaninshire.

Heart of Clachmaninshire
As of 2009, Rabies was one of the many famed players purchased with the money belonging to Heart of Clachmaninshire chairman Sir Roddy Bulbs in order to build a team the envy of Europe.

On the field, Rabies seemed oblivious to Mungo McCrackas' lack of ability to score. During the Clackers game against 73rd Lanark, it was Rabies who crossed the ball to an unmarked Mungo McCrackas in the 18-yard box only for him to make a mess of the opportunity. He also performed well in the European tie against Old Boys Berne, breaking through the opposition and making another great cross which failed to be converted again by McCrackas. At half time, he was told by Chimchinerie Cheroo to stop passing the ball to Mungo but did so once again in the second half, another opportunity McCrackas failed to convert.

As a player, however, Rabies' skills were not in doubt. In training he could curl free kicks around a wall and through suspended tires from 40 yards out. He was often the one to begin a Clackers' attack even if no goals resulted due to his frequent crosses to Mungo.

As part of Mungo McCrackas' (now caretaker-manager) attempts to boost team morale, he was told to wear a piece of card naming him as Michael Schumacher as part of a team building exercise.

International career
Pedro Rabies is a current Spanish international.

Personal Life
Rabies is a user of the drug Ketarine and an avid eater of paella, both of which bring out unfortunate side-effects in the user. He is also an avid Scooby Doo fan and lists his likes and dislikes as "really dirty women" and "hairy women" respectively. He is not a fan of the Danes.